from me to me

dear self:

i'll be smarter next time. the extremes i had going on today weren't the best life choice..unhealthy food and a hard workout isn't exactly the best combination. so so sorry.

you are banned from facebook for a week. not that youre addicted or anything..but you get kind of obsessive. and creep-y. as in you creep far too much to be considered normal.

instead of focusing your efforts on others (ahem, facebook), try focusing it on alma. cause you promised you would finish alma by july. better hustle, cause time will fly by!

make it a goal in your life to marry an ashton kutcher lookalike. you know what? i would settle with ashton kutcher. better get on that.

lets make it a goal to buy groceries this week! and possibly focus a little more on laundry and the maintenance of the cleanliness of your room.

keep up with the working out! you're doing great! and remember we want results by the end of the month.

you promised coach hundred percent attendance to practice from now on..don't forget. don't not go.

hang in there. things are tough right now and they'll stay like this for a while until, one day, you'll wake up and realize you don't care anymore, that all of this doesn't make you want to scream and cry and laugh and punch someone in the face all at the same time. you can do it.

love, me

ps- it might be a good idea to stop listening to "i miss you" by blink 182.

feast your eyes

this man makes my heart melt.

hell's kitchen?

in an effort to minimize my expenditures, i have taken to eating breakfast at home, packing lunches and preparing suppertime meals. while preparing my simple meal of chicken breast, green beans, and rice, the following events occurred:

i proceeded to defrost the frozen chicken breast and cook it in a pan. the amount of oil i rationed soon ran out but my chicken continued to merrily sizzle and spit. as i boiled the green beans, the fire alarm starts ringing. apparently my chicken breast began to burn.

how the hell do you turn off a fire alarm?

i raced around my hallways tracking down the alarm while digressing into hysterics. (ps those things are loud. the fire alarm i mean, not my hysterics.) i stared at it for a while, just trying to figure out how to turn it off. i jumped at it and hit it with my finger a couple of times but that didnt do too much. i grabbed a chair from the kitchen, still laughing about the hilarity of this situation. the upper floor of my house still reeks of burning teflon.

how does one all of a sudden suck at cooking? cause its happened to me.

i go through phases of being okay and not okay with all of this break up stuff..guess what phase i'm in now.

check list

completion of gossip girl season one: check.

initiation of season 2 download: check.

cleaning of the room: check.

processing of laundry: check.

first office softball game: check.

getting hit on by softball man: check.

being attacked by hundreds of mosquitoes at rugby practice: check.

playdate with jon tomorrow: check :)

(ps-we're transitioning from lovers to friends..i'll keep you posted. pun intended.)

so i swalled a bug while longboarding.

one of the countless glorious things that can happen when engaging in said activity. i love it (longboarding, not swallowing the bug) for several reasons:

a) its kind of peaceful when its just you, your board, and your ipod. (and justin bieber, in my case). its a time to think and to clear your mind and mull things over.

b) its one of those activities thats just difficult enough to engage your body so you feel like youre working your muscles without really having to do anything.

c) i learn not to take myself too seriously when longboarding cause im really not that good. the ability to laugh at yourself when you do something wrong and make a fool of yourself is a vital one, albeit difficult to develop..boarding helps with that slow developmental process.

d) when i longboard it feels like im snowboarding. ive never done the latter..so i feel cool when i pretend that im carving. i like to think i'd be okay at it.


longboarding is a people magnet. have you ever noticed that? guaranteed nine out of ten cars that drove past me stared me down the whole time..people are drawn to a longboarder. they probably automatically assume youre really, really cool. dont believe me? the next time you see a longboarder, check your reaction. are you checking them out? gotcha.

one peeve that i have about boarding is the infallibility of my clumsiness when others are around. when its just me, i carve like a pro and rarely lose my balance. as soon as someone rounds the corner, its like his or her presence throws off the delicate balance i have managed to so delicately maintain. and i fall. everytime. lets hope i grow out of this stage asap.

titleless

i hate the point when you realize that things really arent going to work out and that they need to end. i hate the "let's still be friends" because it never works out. i hate that we cant be together, even though we both want to. i hate not being able to listen to my favorite songs without thinking about you. i hate waiting by my phone, expecting a text that never comes. i hate not knowing when i'll see you again. i hate when something funny happens that i know you'll appreciate, going to text you..and realizing that i cant. i hate that everything i do reminds me of you..that every thought i have revolves around the one person i cant have. i hate that things cant work out right now, even if we've really tried. i hate knowing that my very best friend will no longer be a part of me and my life..that i'm left alone.
and i especially hate that you feel the same way.